been thinking abt some stuff...

there is a really thin balance in friendship i think... sometimes i think i talk too much... actually i know tt i do... i tell my frens too much of what is weighing on my mind tt sometimes i think they get qt irritated lah... like char was telling me abt her fren hu does tt and she feels qt sian sometimes cos all her fren talks abt is herself... and i know tt i am liddat too sometimes... like always wanna tell my frens my problems and stuff... but sometimes i think its cos they arent really saying anything abt themselves to me... and i really dun like silence very much so i have to say something so i end up talking abt myself! haha... ok tt is qt lame lah but really. so now i guess im more wary of telling my frens when i am upset cos i dont want to like... impose? like ill tell them if they ask or something... but if not i try to keep it inside... but its qt hard lah... im used to having at least one person tt i tell something to and now... i dunno... and recently alot of pple been telling me stuff and i guess im getting qt burdened... good thing i have this blog haha... zy i know how u feel abt urs... like today had service den it was worship and intercession but couldnt really start worshipping with all my heart straight away like normal cos i kept thinking abt my fren hu i was tokking to the night before until 2 am hu was telling me his probs and like... i guess it affected me tho it had nothing to do with me? maybe tts y i always avoid stuff like wad jac says cos when pple tell me things sometimes its like i dunno how to help them and i will keep thinking abt it... but i do want my frens to tell me stuff and confide in me its just tt i wish i could do tt too? like my vj frens and all i wun really tell them except marcus or dex but i dun really talk to them tt often and i feel qt bad cos i dont want them to feel tt i only tok to them when i need them... and my mg frens... hardly speak to them nowadays oso...and church... i dunno lah... wish i could but i guess me and esther drifted abit since we split cell and the yr 1s are closer to each other... rach... i dunno oso haha... and its qt hard to catch chuili to tok to her oso... i was really qt disturbed this morning lah... but its better now... dunno lah

anyway... today during worship and intercession a song really spoke to me... called to the ends of the earth... qt a popular song i think but anyway... its like saying tt yes i am called to go to the ends of the earth and its like everytime i sing this song i will be so convicted and i dunno... like its true. i will go to the ends of the earth... its like i have a goal to work towards and my life is shaped by my goal and my purpose. the love of God is really amazing... was like thinking abt what the lord went thru for me... all the beatings and taunting frm the pple He loved and yet He can forgive me... feel so guilty for all the times i took His love for granted and for when i kept asking things from Him when He already gave me everything. i cant imagine how He could have done what He did and i really thank Him for doing it! if the passion of the Christ is good for one thing i guess its tt alot of pple have been shaken out of their slumber by the violence in the film and tho i dunno i dun really have tt good an impression of it i guess God can use all things for His purposes...

Jesus i believe in you and i will go
to the ends of the earth, to the ends of the earth
for you alone are the Son of God
and all the world will see
you are God
you are God...